10 Reasons to Hate New York – 10 Motivi per Odiare New York

WARNING: This article may cause some annoyance amongst Nuokers. Only the thick-skinned should continue.

ATTENZIONE: Questo articolo potrebbe essere motivo di malumore fra i Nuokers. Consigliamo di proseguire solo a chi ha la pellaccia abbastanza dura.


You’re lying on your bed in the small, provincial town of L., staring up at the comprehensive map of the world splayed across your wall. With the laser-pointer someone gave you as a present for your 15th birthday, you’re wondering where on earth you can seek refuge from the dull, no-one-understands-me-in-this-town banalities that plague your everyday existence.

The red beam from your pointer shoots across a multitude of topographies painted in garish colors that only live on maps: lakes, forests, oceans, megalopolises. Pyongyang? Too militaristic. Moscow? Too expensive. Nouakchott? Next.

Then, the red beam, pulled by some unearthly power, slowly bends towards the United States. It tracks down the eastern seaboard bypassing a series of names that don’t mean that much to you (“What’s a Massachussetts?”).

Finally, as if instructed by divine will, the pointer settles on a city whose notoriety, legend and public appeal have transformed it into a destination of mythic proportions. A Babylon, Jerusalem, Rome and Atlantis all rolled into one. What’s the name of that city? (Say it in chorus) NEW YORK!

Well, I hate to burst your bubble. But here are ten good reasons why you should keep that red pointer moving across your map:

Sei a L., piccola e provinciale cittadina italiana. Sei sdraiato sul tuo letto e fissi la mappa geografica del mondo, spalmata sulla parete che hai di fronte. In mano hai il puntatore laser che ti hanno regalato per il tuo quindicesimo compleanno e stai cercando di capire dove, fra i vari angoli del pianeta, potresti trovare riparo dal banale e soffocante “qui-nessuno-mi-capisce” che affligge la tua esistenza.   Il raggio rosso sparato dal tuo puntatore cade su una moltitudine di figure dai colori sgargianti, che vivono solo nelle mappe: laghi, foreste, oceani, megalopoli. Pyongyang? Troppo militareggiante. Mosca? Troppo costosa. Nouakchott? Avanti un altro.   E poi, come sospinto da una qualche forza soprannaturale, il raggio rosso vira lentamente verso gli Stati Uniti e scivola giù lungo la costa orientale, bypassando una serie di nomi che non ti dicono niente (“Massachussetts? E che cos’è?”). Infine, come guidato da una volontà divina, il puntatore illumina una città dalla fama leggendaria, dotata di un appeal tale da renderla una meta di proporzioni mitiche: Babilonia, Gerusalemme, Roma e Atlantide mischiate in un tutt’uno. E qual è il nome di questa città? (In coro, in coro…) Signore e signori, NEW YORK!   Be’, mi spiace rovinarti la festa, ma ecco dieci motivi per continuare a muovere quel puntino rosso lungo la tua mappa.

1 – The Smear

In the two years it has been around The Smear has achieved a sort of cult landmark status. But, honestly folks, the fact that The Smear (of shit, that is) has been allowed to survive for two years on the side of a building on 30th between 7th and 8th is reason enough to hate New York.

LA MACCHIA. Nei due anni in cui è stata in giro La Macchia ha raggiunto lo status di un marchio cult. Siamo onesti: il fatto che una Macchia di merda (che di questo si tratta…) sia potuta sopravvivere per ben due anni sul muro di un palazzo sulla 30a strada, fra la 7a e l’8a, non è una ragione sufficiente per odiare New York?

2 – The Prices

$15 cocktails and $8 beers; $2 espressos; $2,500/month studio apartments (on Roosevelt Island!!); the $26 burger; and $20,000/year tuition to send your kid to a decent elementary school. As Jerry Seinfeld once said: “Do these people have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world?”

I PREZZI. $15 i cocktails e $8 le birre; $2 un espresso; $2,500 al mese per un monolocale (a Roosevelt Island!!); $26 un burger; e $20,000 all’anno di retta per mandare tuo figlio in una scuola elementare decente. Come ha detto una volta Jerry Seinfeld: “Ma queste persone hanno anche una vaga idea di quali sono i prezzi in qualunque altra parte del pianeta?”.

3 – No Sex in the City

Women: the majority of men in NY are gay.

Men: you can’t afford the majority of women.

NO SEX IN THE CITY. Donne: la maggior parte degli uomini a NY è gay.  Uomini: non potete permettervi la maggior parte delle donne.

4 – The Subway

A haven to the homeless, rats and roaches, mysterious liquids cascading off the platform in fetid waterfalls and swirling onto the tracks below, an incomprehensible PA system, people eating weird, smelly foods out of white Styrofoam boxes, dull advertising for crappy colleges, interminable delays, and the general sense the subway stations’ rotten and rusty girders will collapse under their own weight at any time make the New York subway another reason to hate the Big Apple.

LA METROPOLITANA. Paradiso per senzatetto, ratti, scarafaggi e liquidi misteriosi che cadano dalla giù dalla piattaforma in fetide cascate prima di scivolare sui binari sottostanti in piccoli mulinelli. Altoparlanti da cui escono annunci incomprensibili. Gente che mangia cibo puzzolente in vaschette bianche. Penose pubblicità di college di quart’ordine. Ritardi infiniti. La continua sensazione che le travi, marce e arrugginite, collasseranno sotto il loro stesso peso da un momento all’altro. Tutto questo, signori, rende la metropolitana di New York un altro motivo per odiare la Grande Mela.

5 – The Weather

You could decide to go somewhere mild, sunny, with a delicate sea breeze, perhaps somewhere in the tropics- Micronesia, the Caribbean, the Maldives (before they sink). Instead, you decide to come to New York, where it’s freezing in the winter, unbearable in the summer, and rains all the time in between. As the glacial wind cuts at your face in mid-February (after all, NY is windier than The Windy City) you’ll have another reason to hate NY.

IL TEMPO. Potresti scegliere di andare in un posto soleggiato e dal clima mite, attraversato da una brezza delicata, magari da qualche parte nei Tropici – la Micronesia, i Caraibi, le Maldive (prima che s’inabissino). Invece, decidi di venire proprio a New York, che è gelata d’inverno, invivibile d’estate, e sotto la pioggia negli altri periodi dell’anno. Quando il vento ghiacciato di metà Febbraio ti taglierà la pelle (dopo tutto, NY è più ventosa di Chicago, “the windy city”), be’, in quel momento avrai un’altra ragione per odiare NY.

6 – Hipsters

Do I need to say more?

GLI HIPSTERS. Devo aggiungere altro?

7 – The Filth

Don’t you love wading through ankle-high garbage on your way to tapas night with friends? Nothing fills the steamy summer air like the wafting aroma of leaking garbage. New York may be the Asphalt Jungle, but it’s also a Garbage Dump.

IL SUDICIUME. Non ami farti strada di notte fra ammassi di spazzatura mentre vai con i tuoi amici a comprare le tapas? In effetti niente impregna meglio l’appiccicaticcia aria estiva del penetrante aroma che fuoriesce dai sacchi di spazzatura.

8 – The Hype

Everyone hates a show-off. New York is the city version of the obstreperous neighbor who always has to advertise the new crap he’s bought to the entire vicinity. Like him, everything NY has is always ‘The Best’: the best food, the best nightlife, the best people. But we all really know that being a loudmouth is a sign of insecurity… and that’s something to hate, too.

IL MEGLIO DEL MEGLIO. Tutti odiano l’ostentazione. New York è il tuo vicino chiassoso che deve sempre (e per forza) informare l’intero quartiere dell’ultima cazzata che si è comprato: è lui fatto città. Proprio come per l’odioso vicino urlante, tutto quello che appartiene a NY è sempre ‘Il Meglio’: New York ha il miglior cibo, la vita notturna più ganza, ci vive la gente più trendy e via dicendo. Ma sappiamo tutti che parlare a voce alta è segno d’insicurezza… E anche questa è una cosa da odiare.

9 – The Tourists

As the world’s #2 tourism destination, NY gets flooded with tourists and out-of-towners. They crowd the sidewalks taking inane pictures, cluster at subway entrances and exits, and forget to leave tips in restaurants. The out-of-towners saunter about in the middle of rush hour forgetting they’re in a city and not at the mall and form never-ending lines at overrated cupcake shops like Magnolia. Most hatefully, they’re cheerful because they know they’re on vacation and leave the NY living to suckers.

I TURISTI. Essendo la seconda meta turistica al mondo, NY è costantemente invasa di turisti, o semplici visitatori dalle città vicine. Queste persone intasano i marciapiedi per scattare inutili fotografie, si raggruppano alle entrate e alle uscite della metropolitana, intasandole, e dimenticano di lasciare la mancia nei ristoranti. Quelli che vengono da fuori bighellonano tranquilli all’ora di punta dimenticando che sono in una città, e non in un centro commerciale, e formano code infinite davanti a pasticcerie ampiamente sopravvalutate come Magnolia. Ma la cosa ancora più odiosa è che se la ridono sotto i baffi al pensiero che loro sono lì solo in vacanza, ma presto lasceranno la città – e tutti i suoi stress – ai suoi cittadini sfigati.

10 – NY Hates You

As a NY writer once told me, ‘Everyone in NY is a writer.’ While people come to NY to be unique and express their individuality, they inevitably finish up at the end of a line of thousands who came here before them to do the exact same thing. If you want to be an unemployed actor waiting on tables, NY welcomes you with open arms. Remember this: NY doesn’t love you. Hate New York before it hates on you.

NY TI ODIA. Come mi ha detto una volta uno scrittore newyorkese, “A New York sono tutti scrittori”. A dispetto del fatto che le persone vengono a New York per essere ‘unici’ ed esprimere la loro individualità, inevitabilmente molti di loro andranno a ingrossare le fila dei migliaia che sono venuti qui prima di loro per lo stesso motivo. Se vuoi essere un attore disoccupato che serve ai tavoli, NY ti accoglie a braccia aperte. Ricorda questo: NY non ti ama. Odia New York prima che lei odi te.

Andrew Z. Giacalone
(italianizzazione di Leonardo Staglianò)



Commenti (74)

  1. Dario Luigi Maria Celli

    Le mie (personali) risposte:

    1) Odiare una città per quella macchia? Suvvia, almeno ce ne sono pochissime per terra!

    2) A Jerry Seinfeld direi: vieni a farti un giretto a Roma, e poi ne parliamo!

    3) Alle donne di Ny direi, mentre accennerei un vago baciamano: “E’ dunque ora che tu conosca un italiano a New York, honey…”

    4) Santo cielo, Andrew, è evidente che non hai mai frequentato le due (dico DUE!) linee della metro di Roma!!

    5) Suvvia, per un po’ di freddo! Fa bene alla circolazione, in fondo, no? Almeno non si gela nei ristoranti (come a Roma, appunto: “Fa freddo qua dentro? A dottò, se aspetta ‘n pò, ariva gente e ce scaldamo…!”)

    6) Andrew, avessi visto come andavo in giro io negli anni ’70…

    7) La sera, ma almeno la mattina l’immondizia è tolta. Vuoi farti un giretto nei quartieri limitrofi al centro di Roma (o a Palermo, amico?)

    8) Voi dire a noi italiani che non è carino parlare ad alta voce? A noi che sussurriamo sempre tutto?

    9) Beh, d’altronde ci sono anche umani che ritengono Caltanissetta (o Abbiategrasso) la più bella città del mondo! Lasciaglielo creder loro…

    10) Forse. Solo che davvero, a NY, un po’ più di “uno su mille ce la fa”…

    (Lo so, sono malato…)

    d.

  2. Rafabarbosa

    Bel post complimenti!

  3. ahahaha andrew you are a genius!!!

  4. Piera

    No non bastano questi motivi!

  5. Lenur

    Haha, Benvenuto!

  6. Alessandro Passanti

    Fantastic and severe description of Nyc and its contradictions.. (the most beautiful is NO SEX IN THE CITY)..
    now you must write the “10 things Italians expect from Nyc”..

  7. Red Sox 4 Eva!

    New York Sucks! Go Boston!

  8. Smearer

    Ricockulous article. Who doesn’t love The Smear?

  9. new york

    Wow This place is fabulous. I have to bookmark it and come back here again!…

  10. 1 – The Smear
    It’s everywhere around the world.

    2- prices
    Depends where you live. Queens and Brooklyn don’t count in your survey.

    3 – No Sex in the City
    Not true. New York is full of people who’re single and ready to mingle. You gotta know where to find ‘em. If you live in a gay area, then I don’t know. BTW gay people are the nicest people.

    4 – The Subway
    With million of people traveling everyday, every hour, every second, maintenance work is extremely difficult. Besides it’s the most convenient subway system compared to a lot of cities. Depends, what do you want? a clean and nice subway (DC, California) that doesn’t really take you anywhere or a dirty train that can get you everywhere you like.

    5 – The Weather
    It’s always romantic.

    6 – Hipsters
    Makes it more interesting. I think a city with some hipsters is far more interesting that a city full of people in BORING suits and fake smiles.

    7 – The Filth
    The sanitation department works extremely early and long hours, but everything is so easily available here that people are used to buying and throwing things way fast.

    8 – The Hype
    The Hype is the business. Without the hype even world cup tickets won’t sell.

    9 – The Tourists
    Everybody loves new york and wants to be a part of it.

    10 – NY Hates You
    People from all over the world has been rushing here, trying to make their dream come true and New York has always welcomed them. Look around you, Russians, Italians, Germans, French, Mexicans: No one would be here if New York hated them.

    SPREAD LOVE IF POSSIBLE, IT’S ALWAYS POSSIBLE. – The Dalai Lama

  11. Still: Nice work Andrew. It’s always interesting to hear from you:)

  12. Funny article.

  13. bob

    Please do one for Hawaii next. Pretty please ^^

  14. Mandy Lifeboats

    Don’t be a baby.

    Don’t get mad – I’m only kidding. I always tell people that New Yorkers are the most patient people on earth considering all the crap they have to put up with on a daily basis. I know that I felt like I had done a day’s work by the time I got to work.

    As a native, I’m certainly biased but I think most NY’ers tend to be pretty nice and mellow.

  15. Buckwheat

    Like, wow, man. It sounds like El A, except numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7 & 10 – all pretty obvious, except the last. We don’t hate N’Yahkers, just wish they’d all take their lousy grammar & their laptops, get in their rustbucket heaps, and drive back home. Or go to Arizona.

  16. Glen2Gs

    New York is nowhere near as bad as the Cesspool that is Chicago…New Yorkers are the nicest People in the World…Even the Muggers say Please and Thank You :P

  17. Bob

    F*ck NYC!

    The west coast is paradise except for the commies in California gub’ment and the illegal alien gangsters.

  18. Andrew

    Couldn’t make it in New York, huh?

  19. louis

    the self-proclaimed greatest city in the world

  20. Your article is narrow minded and only applies to repressed failures and losers. I am an openly gay male from Philadelphia. Philadelphia’s gay scene revolves around just two-places. Woody’s and BikeStop. I take AMTRAK North to NY and WOW! Lot’s of sex in NY and don’t I know it! The NY Gay scene is open 24-hours a day. It never closes! Is it expensive? Not if I find a NY male to buy me the drinks? Is it dirty? I got in a tub with Five NY men and we got each other really, really clean. I can ride the Subway and readily find men wanting to ride me. If you’re not into the gay scene, perhaps NY will change your mind. All in all, New York, New York. What more could you ask for?

  21. Bev Roehrborn

    Its hard to believe NY can be like that. A few years ago, some of my family went there and they were very impressed by the kindness of those they met. They got lost at one point and a store owner took the time to get them to where they needed to go. They also said everyone they met was friendly. My husband and I are planning a trip up to Maine and possibly might include seeing NY for the first time. In spite of that article im still looking forward to seeing it. HOpefully we can stay away from the “tourist traps”.

  22. Ed

    I found the smear!

    http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&q=30th+and+7th+nyc&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=7th+Ave+%26+W+30th+St,+New+York,+10001,+United+States&gl=uk&ei=1Y0jTO68PNujsQbQp9DKBQ&ved=0CBYQ8gEwAA&ll=40.748984,-73.993692&spn=0.002008,0.004844&t=h&z=18&layer=c&cbll=40.749038,-73.993812&panoid=xeqMPM081gUDrl02BE8vKQ&cbp=12,35.12,,3,8.11

    God I’m sad.

  23. Joseph

    HMMMMMM lets see!

    NY has everything you are looking for! overcrowdness,eternal traffic, crazy yellow cabs cutting in and out of traffic, the screeching of the subways, the constant blaring of car horns (in some areas), The crazy night life, homosexuals, bi-sexuals, transgendered, asexuals, tourists, construction, traffic cops (dont make a left turn there!!),drug dealers,24 hour restaurants serving everything under the sun, cyclists, deliveryboys on bicycles

    AHHHHHH yes NY is the best!!! I love this town!!

  24. Years after he was vilified by the press for expressing his opinion of New York, we find that…

    …John Rocker was right!

  25. Scott

    Would love to see a similar list for Los Angeles!

  26. Bringer of Light

    New York City is a cesspool that reeks of urine, feces, and the worst-smelling byproduct of humanity…anger, bitterness, and resentment.

    Having interned at 19 at a network TV station while a junior in college, the Big Apple was exciting but living there full time in my mid-20s from 1996 to 1997 proved to me that the Big Apple is rotten to the core.

    There is nothing glamorous about a rat-infested apartment the size of a postage stamp or awakening in the middle of the night to find your eyes watering and your throat burning as a result of a trash incinerator on the fritz.

    Angry, annoying, arrogant, obnoxious, and pushy best describe a significant number of those who live in NYC.

    Worst of all the PR hacks who have shaped the image of NYC for decades have convinced the nation if not the world that the “best” of everything can be found in NYC when in fact that is simply nothing more than a bold-faced lie.

    You can find the “best” of many things anywhere other than NYC.

    In fact, the “new” NYC is probably in China or India or somewhere else outside of the US.

    America saw its last great year in 1945. Since then it’s been in a downward death spiral of debt and destruction, exactly like NYC.

  27. Jim

    As bad as New York is, the people of Boston are even ruder and more insufferable.

  28. Mik-

    I went to NYC back in 1878…

  29. CJG

    Agreed. And I was born here. But if you know where to go some places are like heaven. Even worse than the tourists are the goddamn immigrants (AND that includes the hipsters). As for the weather: pray for rain in the summer. It is your only release from the abominable heat. Love those big t-storms. And the pee smell (that I never even noticed for years thanks to cigarettes killing my sense of smell)IS THE OFFICIAL “SCENT” OF nyc. That and decomposing corpses. Yes, to truly “love” NY, embrace despising it. Indeed, the city certainly hates you. Look at all the assholes it rewards for chrissake; ny like god, has a sick twisted sense of humor. Good article. And as for Vincent above, well duh! boychick. Wait until you’re fat and fifty — then tell me how much action your getting.

  30. For me NY is the classic example of a great place to visit but not a place to live. I am too used to living on acerage in semi-rural Florida to tolerate cdrowded living and cold weather. Nevertheless, I think New Yorkers are fantastic people. Rather than rude, I find them remarkably tolerant and give and take, and that include ther drivers. Moreover, they are passionate about things they fancy. How can you not love the subway? The subway is fast and convieniant transportation to anywhere in the city, eliminating the need to ever maintain a car or tolerate a bus.

  31. Bob Herter

    I am Bronx born & raised – Queens resident. I tried living elsewhere but was bored to depression. The mix of out-of-date & plain wrong urban myths described is fine by me. More apartments for the rest of us.
    Many mistake ‘Manhattan’ for ‘New York City’ or are kids trying to make some ‘scene’ they can’t hack. I live in the boroughs where most of us do. After work I can do 1000 things, or simply walk around for entertainment & hop on any subway anywhere home.
    I love the subway – having to drive everywhere nearly doomed my brain for a number of reasons. Reading, watching people from EVERYWHERE, what can be bad?
    Many New Yorkers besides me have found many a place elsewhere is where strangers are treated coldly, getting directions fraught. I hold doors, give up my seat, not to mention directions, w/o a 2nd thought. I’m not alone.
    The kid who ‘interned at a TV station’ — well maybe THAT was the problem. Too young & working with jerks (which can happen anywhere, folks).
    Well, whatever – too each their own.

  32. Noe Morethanu

    • Brutally raped Central Park Jogger suffers while attackers go free on “wilding” defense.

    • In NYC for the U.S. Open, Utah tourist Brian Watkins murdered defending his mom from subway muggers

    • Sado-masochists Hedda Nussbaum and Joel Steinberg abuse Hedda’s daughter to death.

    • Puerto Rican Day Parade, Columbus Day Parade, St. Patrick’s Day Parade

    • An income tax

    • “Harrable”, er, Horrible accents

    • Beggar pests everywhere

    • The Mafia and dum-dums who glorify them

    • Workers’ unions meddling in all affairs of economics

    • 400 years of polluting the Hudson River rendering it useless except for shipping

    • Ever-present threat of becoming a crime victim

    • Global magnet for the world’s worst people, regardless of income

    … It would take several lifetimes to exhaust this list

  33. Paul

    New Yorkers are the most provincial people in the world. They truly believe that civilization stops at the Hudson River. They invented the term, “fly over states.” Those would be the states that the real people live in.
    Born and raised in NY, thankfully out west in the mountains.

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  35. All men delusion, but not equally. Those who day-dream by means of night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the heyday to find that it was swell-headedness: but the dreamers of the day are rickety men, because they may act on their dreams with problematic eyes, to create them possible.

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  37. [...] nostro Andrew aveva accennato qualcosa con questo articolo – 10 Reasons to Hate New York – ma diamo un’occhiata da vicino alle cose più inaspettate da sapere prima di [...]

  38. irene

    l’articolo è interessante…ma non basta assolutamente per odiare la Grande Mela,sono stata tre volte a new york ed ho una passione sfrenata per questa città….un giorno se ci riuscirò mi trasferirò li!!!

  39. [...] York may be the Asphalt Jungle, but it’s also a Garbage Dump,” the Italian expat site Nuok noted in June. It would be interesting to know what they would say today, now that the grime has had a chance to [...]

  40. Smotri

    As a native New Yorker, I agree with all 10. But what am I going to do, leave? It’s my home and yes, it has a lot to offer, although it takes a lot out of one too. Not for everyone.

  41. Dennis

    All the mens are gay ? Awesome ! NY ladie’s , here comes the straight guy .

  42. [...] I grew up, and wonder from where their indiscriminate passion for this city stems. When I wrote ‘10 Reasons to Hate New York’, the most virulent protests against my piece came from the Big Apple’s Italian residents, [...]

  43. [...] chiedo dove tragga origine la loro indiscriminata passione per questa città. Quando ho scritto “I 10 motivi per odiare New York”, le proteste più virulente contro il mio articolo sono venute dagli italiani residenti nella [...]

  44. Carol

    da rifletterci sopra

  45. Thanks for this! It makes me nostalgic for home. All these things about my favorite city, all wrapped up in one convenient list. j/k of course. The things I love about NY are not on this list.

    But, if you don’t mind, I think I should like to respond to some of these.

    1) Ewww. Gross. See #7.

    2) Yup. Check those prices. I’ll gladly pay $10 instead of ten quid for a cocktail, thank you very much. Half the price of London, and cheaper than most European cities. About the same price as Tokyo, or it was a few years ago when the yen was weaker.

    3) Please. There’s plenty of sex in the city. People are having sex all the time. And that includes gay people.

    4) Ah, the subway. Yes, it is filthy, loud, and full of crazy people. Yes, the stations can be sweltering in the summer, and, did I mention filthy?

    But it never stops running – it’ll still get you home at 2:30 in the morning. What other city, anywhere in the world, will do that? And it goes more or less anywhere you need it to go in Manhattan, as well as plenty of places in the Outer Boroughs, even though, yeah, it might take a long time to get there.

    The MTA has a looooong way to go if it wants to come anywhere close to being as awesome as the JR (Japan Rail), but how does it compare to the subway in LA, Honolulu, or Ann Arbor?

    5) Beautiful in the spring and summer, wonderfully snowy in the winter. I miss snow. And I miss having the kind of terrible weather that actually makes you appreciate nice days. Here in Honolulu it’s just nice all the fucking time. I haven’t seen snow in ages, haven’t gotten to wear my winter coat (oh, I miss you, coat!) in ages, and don’t really appreciate the beautiful weather because it’s the same as every other day.

    Besides, unlike here in Hawaii where you’re constantly feeling the pull to go outside and enjoy the f*ing weather, in NY the inclement weather can actually persuade you to be inside to see a show, a concert, a museum exhibit, to try out restaurants, to do all kinds of indoor things that the city has to offer, and that a city like Honolulu doesn’t feel it needs to offer because everyone’s constantly at the f*ing beach.

    6) What? You don’t like hipsters? It’s about time men started showing some interest, and creativity, in fashion. It’s about time that bright colors were ‘in’ for men. I love it.

    7) One of my chief complaints about New York. It’s a horribly terribly disgustingly filthy city. Absolutely gross.

    Every time I come back from Japan, I am once again newly disgusted by how filthy my city is. So, you’ve definitely got me there.

    But, Boston, DC, Honolulu, London, Rome, Madrid.. pretty much every city I’ve been to in the West is pretty dirty too. I might almost consider actually eating food off the ground in Tokyo or Kyoto, but not in any city I’ve been to in the West. So don’t start thinking you’re so much better than us New Yorkers, Italianos.

    8) Meh. Hype shmype. It’s hyped because it’s awesome. That’s all there is to it. You want to complain about hype, complain about a city that doesn’t deserve it, like super-expensive London where they look down their nose at Americans, or boring-as-hell Honolulu where there’s just about nothing to do that doesn’t involve the beach or the water.

    9) Tourists? Yeah. That’s your fault, not ours. And, actually, I’ve never had any problems with tourists, never seen reason to dislike them. Except for obnoxious Boston sports fans. Get a life, people. There’s more to life than sports. If you lived in a real city, with actual cultural things to do, you’d know that. (Actually, I love Boston museums and cultural life and such.)

    10) New York does not hate you. Unlike many parts of the world, New York is actually the very definition of cosmopolitan, worldly, globally-minded. We don’t fear or hate strangers from the outside world, like they might in more rural, out of the way places. We’re outward-looking, connected to the world, and happy to have it, and you, there.

  46. Gregory T. Glading

    A few qualifiers on my previous post. Although I prefer a permanent residence in semi-rural Florida to crowded New York, there are few venues for a married, closeted bisexual in Polk City. Living in this homophobic town, I haven’t enjoyed a good man in ten years of marriage to wife #3. On my past visits to The Big Apple, I was a virtual full course, man whore, gang-bang banquet at the Bijou all-male theater and Eastside bath house – I made out better than Bernie Madoff at a Fort Lauterdale senior citizen investment seminar…ugaaahh. On the other hand, here in Polk City and the greater Lakeland area, I don’t get to practice tantric snuggling with other men, just the occasional truck stop, toilet stall tussle or the old troll BJ in the park. In the early 80′s, I lived in Philadelphia with wife #2. I drove a cab at the time. I would turn the meter off and sneak into the Sansom Cinema or the Back Street Baths, where I gave myself over to degrading passions, betraying my lord and saviour, Jesus H. Christ…hehe. Philly’s inferiority complex not withstanding, even that town laughs at the blue balled, backwater Dante’s Inferno I’m living in now. In desparation, I even hired an Hispanic couple, Lenny and Alejandrina, as housekeepers, hoping to give my wife’s sex drive a kickstart so I could indulge my homo-lust at swingers clubs, but she caught me canoodling with Lenny on the toilet seat and moved out – as we all know, male bisexuality is a turn off to most women. I can’t even return to my make believe hometown, Philadelphia, because all my drinking buddies at McKuskers found out I’m an aging, switch hitting poofter. It all went down hill for me when my current wife got electrolosis on her sexy, Bolivian mustache, which was the only thing keeping my putter up anyway….and don’t I know it.

  47. Chuck

    That kind of sucks dude. You have my sympathy.

  48. Tony

    Ny sucks.I lived there for ten years.The atitudes.No customer service.A 1/2 million dollar home is a substandard fixer upper.Cant use a restroom in a store unless your buying something.I never seen so many nationally segragated communities.Every block has the same convenient store,laundry and chinese food resturant.Largest depreciation on cars too.NY LUVS U…R $.A scam in every corner.

  49. Stabuck

    New York will steal your eye teeth without blinking.. Anyone who leaves any item, no matter how trivial in their parked car can expect the window to be broken and the item gone. It is the home of thieves… auto batteries are stolen from parked cars, tires are stolen, leave it to your imagination as they disassemble your car, if by chance you break down on the parkway. I have passed a new camaro pulled off the road on Grand Central Parkway and when I went by there on the way home… the hood was gone, the doors were gone, the tires were gone, the trunk was gone.. warning if you break down don’t leave your car or you will be sick when you return for it…

  50. Pinni

    I made it to be one of my primary goals in life to stay away from NYC as far as can so I moved to the Jersey shore (about 60 miles) 7 years ago.

    Last week I was invited to a show-room by one of my suppliers and reluctantly I agreed to go. My business partner lives in Brooklyn and told me that we can hitch a ride with another friend so it will be better to park the car near his house and take the train back from Manhattan to Brooklyn.

    Our ride canceled on us at the last minute so we drove my car to downtown Manhattan and fond a FREE STREET PARKING on 15th street between 7th and 8th Ave. ( I was pleasantly surprised that I could still find a free parking in NYC rather then paying $50-$60 for parking)

    Anyway, I grabbed a cab to 37th and 8th, no traffic, meeting went well, I grab a Starbucks coffee cup, watching all the people running, cars zooming and I say to myself “ gosh, I really miss the city! This is great! All this action… You gota love it! “

    I take a cab back to my car and the car is not there.

    All of a sudden I feel like a dark cloud is hovering over me and a very sad feeling is creeping.

    “ are you sure we parked here David?”
    “lets go to the next block, Maybe its there…”
    “could it be stolen?” why would anybody steal a 96 Grand Marquee piece of shit like mine? “
    “Maybe it got towed? But why? It’s a legal spot?”

    After about 20 minutes of searching and asking people if they saw a car being towed we ask the doorman of the building we parked in front of to check his camera. the angel was bad and we could only see a portion of my car but very fuzzy.

    we played back the video and we see an unmarked silver van parking parallel to my car and a man (wearing a reflective orange vest) is going back and forth and around my car. We couldn’t see much, the owning of the building was in the way.

    After five minutes we see the man entering my car from the passenger side and then we see a ticket being placed on the windshield. The car then being towed from the rear (against traffic) and disappear into the unknown.

    We tried to see the plate number of the silver van but couldn’t.

    Now the speculation starts… was that a city tow? If so, why the unmarked van? Was it stolen by a ring of sophisticated car thieves? who will waste his time to steal a crappy car like mine? WTF is going on?

    The doorman and supper of 205 west 15th street were so helpful God bless them, they looked up phone numbers for me to call and help as much as they could.

    After calling the Police, I still couldn’t find my car so I called them again to report a stolen car.

    The Police officer was very courteous and asked if I checked with the Marshals office?

    “Who’s office? What’s a Marshal?” I asked.

    Now I can’t sleep (at 2am) I’m actually thinking… That’s a very good question… so I Google it.

    Here are the highlights:

    The Committee seeks mature, financially-stable men and women with strong employment and educational histories, proven integrity and judgment, solid communication skills, and the ability, including the financial assets, to start-up and operate their own small businesses.

    By law, a City marshal must be at least 18 years old and have a high school diploma or its equivalent, such as a GED. Although those are the minimum requirements, the Committee will favorably consider only those candidates with proven records of occupational and educational achievement.
    City Marshals are public officers and independent contractors, but not City employees.

    Marshals do not receive regular salaries or guaranteed income.

    Marshals collect their own fees, set by State law.

    Marshals pay their own expenses and must keep their offices open during business hours. Start-up expenses can be high.

    “Operate their own small business I ask???” whatever!

    I call the marshal’s office and yes! They have my car.

    OK, can you please tell me why did I get a ticket in that spot and why the tow?

    Answer: “Sir, the office is close now. All I see that it was towed due to unpaid tickets $608.40! You must pay it in order to get the car back…. You must go to 350 Broadway tomorrow and pay…. And then they will tell you where the car…is.”

    Tickets? I don’t remember having any tickets?

    “There is nothing else I can tell you sir.”

    I’m bewildered! I’m in the city and my car is gone! I live an hour and a half away and my house keys are in the car. (Maybe I left the backdoor open?) Now what?

    I take a 40 minute train to Brooklyn to borrow my partner’s car and I get home late and weary.
    My spirit is crushed and I’m depressed.

    The next morning I call the marshal’s office to make a credit card payment hopping to send my partner to pick up the car because I’m never setting a foot in that horrifying place called New York City.

    “Can you please tell me about the tickets?” I ask

    Answer: “You had 3 tickets from 06 and 07”

    I don’t remember any of this…. WTF? And maybe I paid for them already? Did I keep the receipts from 06 and 07 ????

    “Yes sir. It was an expired meter. The original amount was $35 each !”

    And how did you get to $608.40 ?

    “It doubles after 30 days and then you have interest and penalties…. You have to pay $975…. To get the car back!”

    WHAT????

    “Yes sir. There is a $20 storage, $70 processing fee, towing fee and……”

    At this point I’m foaming at the mouth, I can’t even hear what the woman is saying, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I feel like I’m getting swindled and it’s all legal.

    This is an outrage!

    “OK FINE, here is my credit card number…. Just let’s get this over with”!

    “SIR! W e c a n n o t take a credit card over the phone!!!!”

    “Why not?”

    “The card must be present here!”

    “Un-fucking believable!!!”

    “Click” the bitch hung up on me.

    I called again…. “Until what time are you working today? I’ll send my partner to get the car out…!

    “Sir… if its not you that coming with the credit card then we need to see a notarized letter from you allowing the other person to use your credit card and we need a copy of your driver license too….”

    The HELL with you New York City ! I hate you! I hate you so much that I can’s sleep at 2am!

    Here is an idea… I’ll set up a website called I-hate-NYC.com and everyone will be able to post their stories about NYC !! Brilliant idea. Let’s check if the domain name is available…. the firs Google search produced hundreds of results to “I hate NY”….

    I’m going to sleep!

  51. We should hang out.

  52. Vanessa

    Hate it here so much. Id do anything to go back to Texas but I’m stuck here for a few years. That is, if I don’t kill myself before then.

  53. James

    NYC is definitely the most anti social, inhuman, uncivilized place I’ve been to. There is now a website where you can review your city, express your hate for your new york city or any other city there. The website is www,planetcpr.com

  54. AT

    Sorry I’m a Texan tourist in New York. Been there one day and I can already agree with every single thing you said. Again, sorry I’m a tourist.

  55. Marsha

    I am a New Yorker, and I hate living here. What does that tell you? New York is definitely an anti-social city. I must agree with that. New York is filled with a lot of angry people.

  56. Donna

    I live here and have to agree with all you said except the part about the tourists. I don’t hate tourists. I think most New Yorkers are just jealous of you because you get to leave. I’ve been to Texas and love it there. Do you know why Texans are so nice, friendly and seem to be in a good mood? Because they get to live like human beings. New York is a hostile place and unfortunately, you get to see the effect it has on people.

  57. Davide

    here’s a totally bad and negative point of view. I don’t agree at all and, if you want, you can find cons everywhere, but what is really true, behind the fact that it’ s not an easy city to live in, is that NYC is beautiful end energetic, and if you realy love her she will respond you. With love.

  58. Ih8NYC

    I’ve never been there… I’ve never been to Haiti either though.

    Everything that I have ever seen about Noo Yawk seems like a 100 on the rotten scale. The weather, over population, traffic, filth, urban sprawl, indifference, ridiculous prices and my favorite — loud obnoxious New Yawkers who know everything that there is to know about everything that there is to know (which is why they live in Noo Yawk).

    If I had to take a pic between Texas and Noo Yawk though… I think I would just kill myself. I HAVE been through Texass a few times and that place is without a doubt the anus of America. A Hot, baron, miserable hell on earth where scratching your butt without a license can get you sent to prison for life.

    It never fails to amaze me why so many people all choose to live in the most rotten places on the planet.

    I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year though. The New Yawka’s should start buying up real estate there so that they can get in before the start of the big trend. I can already see them huddled up in their fat suits to see Cats and buy a $35 non-fat mocha latte from an Eskimo. WHAT A DEAL!

  59. il lele

    bel pezzo. ma forse io amo ny per gli stessi 10 motivi. Solo una nota per Leonardo Staglianò: hipsters non si traduce con hippy.

  60. angelo

    Ho vissuto all incirca 8 mesi a new york,ma ora sono dovuto rientrare per problemi di visto,ma un idea della città me la sono fatta.Non posso che essere d accordo con buona parte dei dieci motivi che sono elencati qui sopra.Vivendoci mi sono reso conto di come da turista la vera anima di questa città sia obnubilata dall euforia di stare a New York. Vivendoci ho amato il trasporto pubblico e non mi sembrava vero di non avere bisogno di un auto e arrivavo ovunque lo stesso( in italia dove vivo in una citta di 30mila abitanti senza auto sei morto) che costasse poco perche 104 dollari dell abbonamento mensile non son nulla.Lo sproposito degli affitti 2500 dollari per uno studio e spesso di notte mi trovavo i topi nella scatola di scarpe dove vivevo.Sesso? qui? quando mai.troppi soldi per uscire e conoscere una donna.Avevo un ottimo stipendio e tutto pagato eppure stavo attento quando uscivo.La sporcizia mi infastidiva ,ma credo che sia impossibile tenere pulita new york,(anche se shanghai altra citta in cui ho vissuto era pulitissima)anche se mi faceva specie che il sabato sulla domenica non raccogliessero l immondizia .Per il resto ora a essere tornato in italia posso dire che le cose che mi mancano sono i negozi aperti 24/7 la lavanderia che costava poco e nulla ti lavava e stirava in un paio d ore se avevi bisogno,i barbieri a buon mercato,la metropolitana ecco cosa mi manca.I turisti molto meno mi mancano.

  61. “Hippy” era un refuso, appena corretto, thanks!

  62. kk

    DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! Mayor Bloomberg is trying to have lots of movies filmed in NY. NYsubway MTA workers (mostly women) makes your day gloomy also. I HATE NY. RIP OFF city. If you like getting ripped off, then go to New York. Snobby people!!!! FIlled with snobby people, Euro trash, and cab drivers who honk at you every second. I HATE NY!!!! DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE FROM THE MOVIES. Small space, small elevator, small EVERYTHING!!!!. YOU ARE IN A SUBWAY TRAIN PACKED WITH PEOPLE. SUBWAY IS ALSO A RIP OFF!! $2.25 EACH WAY!!!!!! CIGARETTES ARE $15!!!! I HATE NEW YORK.!!!!!

  63. kk

    ONLY PEOPLE WHO LIKE LIVING IN NY ARE 21 YEAR OLD KIDS WHO LOVE “BAR HOPPING”!!! YOU GET TAXED EVERY WAY YOU GOT!! FEDERAL, STATE, AND CITY!!!!!!!!!!! TAX TAX TAX TAX TAX.!!!!!!!! WEATHER IS SHITTY. ITS EITHER HUMID OR FREEZING!!!!!!!!! YUPPIES WHO GETS BRAVE BECAUSE THERE ARE COPS EVERY CORNER. I GOT A MESSAGE FOR ALL THE YUPPIES WHO ACTS BRAVE, YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS BEAT IN CALIFORNIA IF YOU PULL ANY OF YOUR SHIT (ACTING LIKE SNOBBY PEOPLE). ALL UPSET OVER LITTLE THINGS AND GIVES YOU SHIT!!!! FUCK YOU NEW YORK!!!!

  64. Jef Doyle

    I’ve never liked this city…and yet I keep going back, dragged by friends who feel this is actually the centre of the universe. Please…I’ve travelled a lot, and while I’m not ashamed to admit I’m not a ‘big city’ guy, I can tell you I have no patience for dirt (everywhere – even where you don’t expect it) and ridiculous prices for what is essentially, crap. Macaroni and cheese for $14? A simple salad for $10?

    Save your money. Go to Tokyo (where the air is cleaner, the transit system is cleaner – and more efficient, and the quality of food is much, much higher)…or go to Rome (my other love) – you’ll still have tourists and high prices, but where else in the world can one cool off at a fountain with water from the hills, and a cold beer in hand?

  65. vv

    i lived in ny for 8 years, and now wrapping up my second year in philadelphia. by the time i left the city i was convinced, for many of the reasons that everyone seems to agree on ,and that you’re also listing on here, in part, that i was ready–more, that i needed to get out. i take that back. i have hated living in philadelphia much more than i could have expected, and have been missing new york just about as much. it’s not any one thing, but there is definitely an energy about that place that i have yet to encounter anywhere else (and i did my fair share of traveling). i now applied for a job in the city and am desperately hoping that it works out. i need to come back home–subway, rats, and al.

  66. the turd whisperer

    I like the city very much but the negatives expressed here are not too far off the mark, I mean there are nuggets of truth in stereotypes. Admittedly, it’s a more conscious place after 9/11 but other than that you can’t deny it’s a miserable, RUDE, crowded toilet and you all know I’m telling the truth. You can deny this if you want but some of the defenses for the city sound like overkill.

  67. Robert

    Meh – I’m an ugly American tourist.

    Well, sort of.

    I’m here to do a couple of days work at the corp branch office.

    Do I gawk?

    Sure – but I *am* a city boy.
    (There are cities other than NY – really)

    I do have sense enough to step out of the way of traffic.

    It’s been – gosh – 30 years since my last trip.

    NY remains America’s Biggest Hick Town

    Truly – its utterly provincial, with folks who never leave their borough and think that’s all there is.

    I’ll wander about a little during my off hours, but I’m laughing *at* New Yorkers – not with them.

  68. Spicy

    New York City is the second most visited city I go to. But I go to it because I have a few family members that live there.. I hear the hype of this city, and expect awesomeness, but honestly I really don’t see the difference when it comes to other cities.. I’ve been to San Diego, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, DC, Chicago, Atlanta, Baltimore, and more! But I gotta say NYC was the most annoying. I remember staying there once, in North Manhattan, I walked past a neighbor of a cousin of mine (who seemed pretty cool the first day) and I said “hello”, he quickly turned his head to me and violently grunted “WHAT?!” I have the distinct feeling that he didn’t like me all that much.. Anyway, that was one of my most traumatic experiences in that city.

    I hate it when my cousin and his family ask me to come visit them there… For once, why can’t they come to MY house?…

  69. francesco

    Who are all you autistic people complaining that your most trmautic experience is that someone did not say hello back to you!?
    I travelled around America and reached New York last.
    Of course, there are many genuine Americans along the way but I was so tired of the fake customer service style that the no bullshit of New Yorkers was beautiful to me

  70. Andru

    I hate this city. I tried to like it, but I couldn’t. It’s an enjoyable place for the rich and the spoiled or a place for the rude, ignorant or bullying “common-sense” preachers. Always go well dressed everywhere and try to look rich, so they treat you with respect and not with disdain. Everyone here thinks they are “unique” when overall, the city is uniform in its cynicism, indifference, lack of empathy. It’s funny that New Yorkers describe someone with manners as “nice” since it’s such a rarity to find someone who can communicate like a human being here with other people. I find in New Yorkers a need to reaffirm themselves in every little attitude (proving how deep their inferiority complex is). Many are ignorant, who think that because NYC is a big, popular city, they know how the world is but never even bothered to get out of here to see other places. And whoever said Madrid or Barcelona is as dirty as NYC, you have to be joking. I swam in Barceloneta (one of the most popular beaches of BCN) and I didn’t see used diapers floating in the water. I walked in Logroño (Spain) and the street wasn’t decorated with millions of dark bubble gum marks. I come from a “third world country” and I have not seen there, as I saw here, a girl eating chicken at a bus stop and throwing the bones on the floor, neither have I seen (as I saw here) a man cutting his toenails at a bus station or an idiot with a hose washing the street while it was raining. That’s the kind of absurdity that you see here and unless you have very strong nerves, have killed your sensibility and only live to make money and spend money, NYC is the city for you.

    If I offend any New Yorkers, I’m sorry. I’m sure there’s good people here, but for the most part this city is full of assholes. There are so many varieties of assholes I could write a book about it.

  71. What’s up colleagues, its great post on the topic of tutoringand entirely defined, keep it up all the time.

  72. Borsh

    Gli italiani non hanno sentimenti

  73. Paul Farinella

    So true!

  74. l lived in Hoboken for 1 year and did the new york thing as an actor/model and I got nowhere. Your greatness lasts for a very short time here because there is a constant influx of new people. AND you get treated like shit by some stupid members of the Vertical Club. I worked @ the one on 32th and 6th in 1991 for a brief time and one member had the nerve to step on my training manual binder (I was trying to make some money as a personal trainer). I told him, now why did you have to do that and he responded with, "Well, It was in my way!" He then reported me to management and said I openly chastised him for this incident and my but flew out of the gym. This was the straw that broke the camels back and I said, screw NYC.

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